Look Inside My Heart

Its funny how I often feel the pressure of my existence, how i
get suffocated by my own world. And its indeed true that you
cant see the heart of a person just by looking at him, cause
its weird how we get fooled easily by our naked eyes. And
there will be times that we keep questioning ourselves from doing things.


Someone once told me that...

..to forget is just to escape

and

protect oneself from the pain..


How I wish I could just forget those things that hurt me,
just let them pop out and vanish without a trace...



How I wish I could forget the pain...

...the sorrow

and grief.

If you'll look at me, what will you see? If you see me laughing,
would you reckon I'm happy? that I'm living a happy life? With bits
of troubles but can still manage to move forward?

...look into my heart...

and you'll see

you'll see how broken my whole being is... behind that sunny smile...
isn't tears... cause it doesn't come to me anymore... rather, its the feeling
of complete emptiness... To exist without anything to live for is just the same
as being dead.

So look at me again, maybe this time
you'll see who I really am...

My Rainy days

My Rainy Days



Its the start of rainy season,
its a bit cold... though its nice cause
I don't have to deal with the hot weather.
I watch droplets of rain fall from the sky, its such a relaxing scenery.
I can even smell the fragrance of my surroundings,
as if they were rejoicing for every drop of water the sky is giving them.

Fallen Leaf

They say "expecting is one way of hurting yourself", it may be true... That's why for some reason, I try to limit myself from expecting too much. I was too scared to get disappointed for not having something that I really hoped for. It wasn't easy for me to adjust, i think life changes so fast that I wasn't able to get a hold of it.

Me?

...I'm still living in the past,

...and the present is just an "illusion of my future"...

I lived my life like a fallen leaf on a river. Its only way to move forward is to go by the flow of the current, helpless and unable to chose its own path. I wonder how long it'll manage to float?